The following is an article from the Fort Worth Star Telegram. I thought you would find interesting.
Trish Trant’s long, flowing locks have a rich caramel hue that makes other brunettes want to beg for her stylist’s info. So when her hairdresser talked her into going Barbie-blond, she knew he had to go. “I do not,” she said, “look good blond.”
Trant, horrified at her bleached streaks, knew she didn’t want him touching her hair again. But despite having grounds to ditch him, she felt a twinge of guilt upon walking out the door for the last time.
She steeled herself for the inevitable, awkward confrontation she knew they would have at the gym where they both worked out. Indeed, after a few painful run-ins, they settled on a solution: Whenever they bumped into each other, they just pretended she didn’t have hair.
Then every woman’s worst stylist-ditch nightmare came true: He moved two doors away. “I know my landlord, and I was just like, ‘Are you kidding me? He’s really moving in?’”
Breaking up with your hair stylist - - as any woman who’s had to duck into the ketchup aisle at the grocery store knows - - can be a guilt-riddled ride on an emotional roller coaster. The connection a women feels to the person who does her hair makes it particularly tough to see the relationship as a business arrangement, says Karen Gail Lewis, a marriage and family therapist who works primarily with women. The same is true with manicurists, gardeners and doctors, she adds.
“Women make things personal where men don’t,” sharing details more freely, which leads to a much faster friendship than men would strike up, she said. That a stylist enters one’s personal space makes it even harder to let go. “There aren’t many people in our live who are allowed to touch our hair,” Lewis said. If dumping a stylist for a good reason - - like a bad dye job - - causes a women to sweat, then leaving one just because she wants a change can cause agonizing guilt.
Brenda Noel switched hairdressers when her longtime stylist, John Kaytaz, packed up for Europe. When Kaytaz returned and started rebuilding his client list, he called, trying to woo her back. Noel felt torn. Her new stylist gave great haircuts and she enjoyed his company, but she felt a deep sense of loyalty to Kaytaz, who had spent many extra hours helping her daughter prepare for the Miss Texas pageant. She knew immediately that she wanted to return, but it took her a year to do so. Two years later, she still feels guilty about leaving the other stylist. “I felt like I was abandoning him,” she said.
Women, said Lewis, often will do something painful to themselves - - such as stay with a hairdresser they merely like instead of one they love - - rather than face the possibility of hurting another person’s feelings. They will not only stay, they will tip - - which even some stylists say is ridiculous.
“We know when you’re not happy. But what are we going to say, ‘No, I don’t like your money, it’s the wrong color?’” said Lorie Griffith, who works at Garbo’s Salon in Fort Worth, Texas. For some stylists, it’s just business. “I actually sometimes suggest that my client go see someone else,” Griffith said. “When you’ve been with us for a long time, we start to see you one way. You need a new perspective.” She encourages her clients to have someone else do a new cut, then return so she can replicate it.
But most clients feel uncomfortable about leaving, she said. “They don’t usually tell you. They just try to slip out the back door and hope you don’t notice. Which, is exactly what I would do too.”
From the Forth Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram
